May/June Horoscopes

By The Tiger Times Head Astrologist

Aries - Some allergies you can grow out of, yours to patience is lifelong

Taurus - I sense you will be the cause of the next cheese shortage - evil

Gemini - This week, you will start three new hobbies, two of which you will forget, and one you will defend as your “true calling” until next week.

Cancer - The next voice note you send will be so long it becomes an audiobook - Pulitzer consideration is pending

Leo - You give off the vibe of someone who dramatically sighs while alone

Virgo - Why is your phone’s homescreen colour coordinated? Type-A much

Libra - Stop spending so much time deciding on which Netflix show to watch, we all know it will be bad no matter which one you pick

Scorpio - I sense a fight with a Canadian Goose is rapidly approaching you

Sagittarius - I sense a new haircut on your horizon, one that is very dramatic

Capricorn - You wander with flair. I hope you enjoy the goat yoga class next month

Aquarius - I sense that the team you want to win the Champions League will win

Pisces - What’s with the oddly specific Google searches?

The Zodiac’s in the Months of May & June: Taurus, Gemini, & Cancer!